I never thought I would have the guts to write this letter especially not for all to see but I am finally ready and brave enough to do it! I hate to tell you this but I have been feeling that something was wrong with our relationship for a long time but I kept on giving it another go because I always believed that the next time it would work out. But every ‘next time’ didn’t work, it never really did no matter how many promises you made to me. Don’t get me wrong, there were days and sometimes weeks when I did feel like we were getting somewhere and some days that I felt so very happy. I mean, do you remember the fun we would have when I managed to stick to you all day? Then when I would weigh myself and see the amount of weight I’d lost, I’d feel deliriously happy all day long. I think my happiest times with you were when I managed to do everything you said even though it was so very hard. I would wake up with you on my mind and just a glance at my body would remind me that you’d stayed with me and I used to get this bubbling excitement in my stomach that this was it, that I’d finally made it! Oh, how smug I used to feel on those days!!
Don’t get too big-headed reading this because you and I both know that the good days have been few and the bad days so many that I’ve lost count. You see it took me a long time to finally realise that you only really cared about you, that this relationship was all one way, your way!! I’ve only got myself to blame to be totally honest because it was always me that tried to give us another go. You never changed even though you sometimes called yourself ‘new’, ‘better’, ‘improved’ but I can now see that it was all just a guise and that you would never ever change.
I have to say that you really hurt me and it may take a while before my emotional scars heal. I mean, let’s be honest with each other for a moment and admit that the whole meal replacement thing that you sold me was just pie in the sky. I can’t believe you really expected me to be able to drink a shake instead of eating my lunch and be satisfied. I remember when for the third week in a row I did this and how very hard it was for me to see other people eating. I thought you might have felt bad for me but I couldn’t have been more wrong! You just told me to get on with it and that if I didn’t, I would remain fat. I tried hard, it was punishing and it did work… but only so long as I didn’t start eating normally again. Of course, I couldn’t live the rest of my life having shakes for lunch and when I did start to eat food again, you betrayed me yet again.
Then there was the time you said that I should restrict my calorie intake, drink diet drinks and eat low fat foods. This just made me climb the walls with hunger and desperation! The result was that I put on more weight, was low on energy and felt like a totally depressed failure. Oh, and let’s not forget the high fat, low protein diet which was another total and utter disaster!!
Anyway, I am so fed up of you treating me so badly that I have finally had enough. I can honestly say that I don’t want you in my life anymore! As far as I am concerned, my nights of crying into the pillow are behind me and I will never again turn down chances to go on holiday, dates or nights out with my friends because of you!! If you’re wondering whether there is someone else, I might as well confess now because you will find out from my friends soon enough. Yes, there most certainly is someone else and you know what? I just don’t care if that hurts you in your wallet!! I didn’t plan for this to happen, I didn’t go looking for a replacement, it just kind of found me. At first, I thought, don’t be silly, you don’t want to be vulnerable and end up getting hurt again but something inside me must have been ready for a change because I found myself being drawn in. At this point, I realised that I didn’t have much to lose anyway (except weight that is) so I just went for it! You know what, I don’t even care if you know your replacement’s name! It’s The Anti-Diet Lifestyle, there now you know!! Also, I am no longer hankering after you, I have time for myself, time for a life, I am happy and most of all, I am losing weight for good!!
In case there is any doubt, let me spell it out to you:
ITS OVER, I’M DONE!!!!
Yours no more
Written by Sherry Taylor
Author of The Anti-Diet Lifestyle