Christmas is a very emotional time. It is full of hope, anticipation, love and joy! We can forget the cold weather as dark nights are lit up with Christmas trees, fairy lights and decorations. Not many people can walk past a house that’s lit up so brightly and still feel gloomy. In fact, if you’re feeling a little miserable, I thoroughly recommend spending some time looking at festively decorated houses, shops and high streets.
For some of us though, Christmas brings with it a sadness that cannot be blown away by the beautiful sight of decorated tress nor the lights shining brightly all around us. If you are grieving then this time of year only accentuates the sadness but highlights the loss of those that are missing. If this is you, don’t feel that you have to force the happiness and pretend that everything’s OK. In fact, when we do this, we inadvertently make things worse not only for ourselves but those around us. The Anti-Diet Lifestyle promotes the complete expression of our thoughts and feelings because it is only then can we release the pain and honour who we really are and what is close to us. Know also that grief has no timeline, agenda or format and that we all need to understand this if we are to help others and ourselves. Also, despite what others tell you, you do NOT have to get over it. It is also OK if you feel that the time is right for you to ‘move through’ the process and that you do not have to feel guilty for letting yourself enjoy life and all that Christmas has to offer. This does not make you selfish or unfeeling any more than being sad makes you a killjoy or ‘black cloud’. Let yourself feel and be what your heart is telling you. If you are not sure, stop for a moment and really let your inner self guide you to your true feelings.
The loss of a wife is not only painful but also frightening. It can leave you feeling so empty and in a state of despair. I wrote this poem to recognise the grief and pain a grief like this brings. If you have suffered a loss like this, my thoughts are with you. May you find peace this Christmas.
Written by Sherry Taylor, Author of The Anti-Diet Lifestyle.